Dating a person which for sure has some emotional baggage can sound overwhelming, difficult and pointless. But when you think about it, who today doesn’t have some baggage? Every person has their own little quirks, the point is to find a person who knows how to handle that. Dating a widower isn’t as daunting as it sounds. With some patience and love, you can have a fulfilling relationship. Like any other kind of dating, this too comes with its own set of rules. Follow these and you will be just fine.
Give it some time
Keep in mind that losing a spouse causes great pain, and the grieving process can be long. Everyone grieves in their own way. If you like a man who has lost his spouse, arm yourself with patience. You cannot force him to do anything. Do not start talking about marriage or your future children. Take it step by step and just be there for him when he needs you.
Do not stay when you are not welcome
Keep your eyes wide open when you are widower dating. If your relationship seems to him like he is cheating on his wife, he is not ready to date. If he keeps her photos all over his house or frequently cries when her name comes up, you have nothing to do there. You will always be a third wheel in that spiritual relationship. Also, just because the widower you have your eye on has been dating a bunch of women since his wife died doesn’t mean he is ready to move on. All widowers grieve in their own way, and some do that by keeping their mind busy. They go from one woman to another just so they won’t feel lonely. You need to see right away if there is room for you in his life or is he still in love with his wife. This way you won’t get hurt.
Respect the memory of her
Keep in mind that this woman was there for a big part of his life, and that most of his memories include her. So don’t get angry when he mentions her now and then. He shouldn’t forget about his past just because you have walked in to his life. With time you will create your own memories and you will become a part of his stories.
Be kind to his children
Those kids have lost their mother, and now it seems to them like you are trying to take her place. They could be still grieving and they might be mad at the world because their loved one is gone. Whatever happens, do not take it personally. With time they will understand that you make their dad happy, and they get to know you. Like you should be patient with your widower, you should do the same with his kids.