Any kind of relationship is hard. It needs a lot of time, work and dedication to survive, and dating a widower is no different. If you think that going out with a man whose wife has passed away sounds daunting, keep in mind that all is not that bad. Like any other relationship, the one with a widower has its advantages and downsides. However, you should know from the start that you will need much more patience with your partner. Being with a man who lost his significant other in the past isn’t the easiest kind of relationship you could have, and here are the pros and cons of widower dating.
First of all, make sure your man is really ready to get back on the market. It doesn’t matter whether you are the first or the sixth person he has dated since his spouse died, he still may not be prepared to date again. Pay attention to some signals. If he has her pictures all around his house, if he dates only women who awfully resemble his late spouse, if he is often sad or distant, or he always compares her to his late wife, there might be no room for you in that relationship. Even if he is ready to date, you will need a lot of patience and time with him. You must be prepared that some days will be worse than others, if his grieving process isn’t done. If you are widowers dating, keep in mind that his loved ones probably won’t greet you with their arms wide open. If he has kids, they will need some time before they accept that their father is dating again.
On the bright side…
Saying that there are advantages of dating a widower might sound a little morbid, but that is the truth. Most widowers are grounded men who will know how to cherish your time together. They know not to take anything for granted. They have learned how to be compassionate, patient and how to live in the moment.
Just because someone’s wife died, doesn’t mean they had a loving and happy marriage. Maybe they were together because of the kids, maybe they were fighting all the time. You don’t know but maybe they were talking about a divorce. Never assume that your widower has been in a happy or a miserable marriage. Wait until he opens up, then you will find out the truth.
Keep your eyes open
When you say that someone is a widower, women all of a sudden get mushy and emotional. For some reason they idolize widowers and make them into martyrs who have suffered a great loss. However, if you are searching for a widower, you fill come across all kinds of men. Some will truly be great people, but other could be real douchebags. So keep your mind open. Don’t put every widower on a pedestal. Get to know him first before you form your opinion.